Editor
100s -may be thousands- of girls fall in love with the wrong guy!
Studies show that girls between the age of 12 to 20 experience their first shock in life due to one or more abusive relationships.
Agree or not ?!!
Lets pay a closer look at that kind of what is called “abusive relationship”.
Lets know when -or why- can we call a relation “toxic”?!
There are three major pillars that make us call a relation “toxic”:
1. Selfishness:
One of the most negative pillars for any relationship!
When you love a selfish guy you simply suffer alone. You will be thinking all the time about him, but unfortunately it’s not mutual…
The problem is; such a guy keeps everything centered on him and his universe….
It is just about him… Only him.
By time you feel alone and you suffer the challenge of finding back your identity and figuring out who you used to be.
We were raised up to think that women are generally less selfish than men, which made us sub-consciously deal with it as if it’s the norm. That is why at the time you get ready to let everything go for him you get astonished by his self-centered decisions and actions.
2. Jealousy:
Abusive relationships make girls -in general- less confident and less sociable. The core reason for this is jealousy.
When you fall in love with a guy who seems very jealous you need to ask yourself 2 important questions:
@ Does he really love me?
@ Does he have low or high self esteem?
If the answer for both questions is NO…..Then you need to know that true Love doesn’t make you feel less trusted!
And therefore…
You need a decision !!!!!
A true lover would make you feel that he trusts your actions, views, friends and choices. True lovers are usually proud of their spouses.
Only “abusive guys” take jealousy as a cover for their real intention. They push the girl to believe that she is doing something wrong. Gradually you’ll turn into an immature kid with low self-esteem and total lack of confidence.
3. Constant judgment/ criticizing:
Another pillar of abusive relationships is when you find yourself dealing with a judgmental partner. Judgment has a very deep impact on one’s self esteem.
Being under microscope all the time. Having deep fear and less confidence in every single action you make. It is one of the major threatening attitudes that destroys you by time.
Many girls who are pretty, successful, powerful and very charismatic, still feel ashamed ,shy or suffer lack of self confidence as a result of being exposed to judgments.
The question now is; how can you survive such a relationship?
Let’s have a 3 step therapy plan
1. Run away
First don’t get me wrong, I mean leave your boyfriend or fiance. However in marriage we apply many strategies before deciding to leave as leaving is not as easy as it seems.
As Marriage is a secret bond that should be kept and it really deserves to struggle for. Trials and attempts should be applied in a smart monitored way by counseling to help cure past wounds and build up a brighter future.
2. Overcome the negative impact of the relation
Some people can do that by themselves; others cannot and need help. In all cases you need a well studied plan to recover and heal. Your scope should be to love yourself and get the best version of it back again.
3. Pay more attention to yourself
Toxic relationships turns you to a drained, poor and negative version of you. The key word is “Get yourself back” try to get back to your life before this relationship, get back to your activities and life style. Get out of your circle of concern. And
Start your new journey of getting back to life!!!!
Relationships Expert, Marriage Counselor &Teenagers Life Coach
Internationally Certified NLP Coaching Practitioner (APC)
Former Assistant lecturer at the faculty of Pharmacy; GUC
Master in Pharmaceutical Chemistry; Diploma in BA; GUC
