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Breakup is like a cocaine withdrawal

Breakup is like a cocaine withdrawal, we get desperate and act out of character, exactly how a drug addict behaves! Whoever said it’s just a breakup, never knew there is a broken heart syndrome that causes physical illness as well.

The good news is that all shall pass, but here are some surviving tips that would be helpful to regain your confidence and social life after losing a potential partner “Don’t worry None of them includes reaching out for your ex 😊”

Insights has shown that being in love involves the same neural circuitry as a drug addiction, therefore falling in love presents very much like an addictive process, “You have this drive to in the form of being around the person that you broke up with.”

We have this extensive idea that, it’s just a breakup, it’s not that big of a deal Whereas, emotionally it is quite a big deal, and breakups can be a risk factor for depression, which is no clinical condition to take lightly.

Knowing that a broken heart syndrome is a real, it’s a temporary heart condition that’s often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions. The condition can also be triggered by a serious physical illness or surgery. It may also be called stress cardiomyopathy.

So, it’s real… After the breakup, its ok to feel not ok, physically ill, exhaustion, and devastation. One of these particularly low moments, you scare yourself into anger at the ex, at yourself, and the stupid situation. How dare he not fight harder for this relationship? How dare something end that was so promising and beautiful? We had so much in common, we were beautifully compatible! But most importantly, how dare I outspoken feminist? constantly coaching women’s independence, glory, power, resilience, betray women by behaving like my life is gone.

Yes, it hurts removing a person who once made compromises as well as plans and must let go of the life you’ve built isn’t as easy as it sounds, it’s surely better said than done .Eventually, one day you’ll reach a healthy lifestyle, a peaceful state of mind and start over.

10 tips that should help you to overcome your heartbreak and the loss:

1. Give yourself time Sometime

It’s totally fine if you spent weekend after weekend taking long drives to binge Netflix and coffee, snuggle, cry, and process your heartbreak out loud with people who loved you.Totally fine, if you spend some days staying in your pajamas, dive into a bowl of ice cream and doesn’t move your ass for two days straight, dive in your sadness. but take care, you may find yourself picking up even worse habits ignoring your friends, neglecting your work, and generally not practicing any self-care

2.Vent it out

It’s not something that I would do, but Sometimes venting out makes you feel better, sharing with your closest (parents, friends, co-workers, coaches, anyone willing to listen) When the people who love you know you’re hurting, they offer support. Reaching out to people will let you out of your comfort zone, more frequent invites, coffee dates, home-cooked meals, movie nights, and day trips. Spending significant time with more people who you would get busy and neglecting the current mood for while.

3.Put you first, make some you plans

Spend time focusing on yourself, on what you love, traveling, spending tons of time with friends and family.  surround yourself with positive loving people and exciting experiences will help. Staying busy helps, and living YOUR own life, entirely for you, helps. Search what makes you happy, just you. This is especially useful if you’ve been in a long-term relationship, where you negotiated where you went, what you watched, and who you socialized with,” “Who are you and what makes just *you* happy? Now is the time to find out.”

Another thing spends a lot of time outside. It’s a cliché, but fresh air really does clear your head and staying distracted would let unhappy times pass faster.

4. Search for a new hobby

Open new opportunities and experience windows, some interesting exposures that wasn’t in your plans, maybe (a new dancing class), meeting more people, and taking on new creative projects to throw your energy into. Drown yourself into volunteering in charity / orphanage or whatsoever. Fortunately, attempts to be good to your body won’t stop at treating yourself good only with food, do what your body is commanding, check some activities like Yoga classes, kickboxing, swimming classes, or some cross fit.

5.Self-Care is an essential

Never be ashamed to seek a professional support, if you ever felt you need therapy go ahead, if you need someone to lean on, learn more about your current situation, learn from the previous experience to improve yourself just do it, I see so many people who cannot point a finger at themselves and work to improve. If you need to get away to an exotic location, somewhere peaceful is a potent source of distraction, carry yourself to a place you always wanted to visit, if travelling is not doable,Then pamper yourself a bit and book a day at Spa or a massage session or maybe a great haircut.

6.Stop staying in contact with your ex

Staying in contact with your ex is hard and cutting off is harder I don’t recommend it unless you are totally ready and won’t pick the phone any soon.After the breakup texting in a friendly way is ok for some people, but other people find keeping the texting window open not an easy one. If you are not comfy tell him he needs to stop texting you and explicitly that this is hurting you, and his texts just reminds you of that pain and shame and all of that.

Also, don’t suggest to “stay friends” and if he does, think about it first this is an impulse because you don’t want to seem like you care too much about the breakup. Because you’re so chill and your heart isn’t beating. But truthfully, during this phase, awkward breaking-up period, it’s hard to tell whether you’ll be able to be friends or not. Generally, one person wants to be friends and the other wants to be more.

Take your time before it can turn out to be a friendship…if it ever can be. 

Note: know well that You’re not admitting defeat by not staying friends with them.

7.Matter of time

It could take some time and sometimes longer time to get over someone, if you choose to stay in contact still talking/ hooked up deal for some time. At this point, time is the main thing that helps to move on. Over time you forget about the good memories that were keeping you tied to that person. After a while, you just stop having feelings for them because you are occupied with other things and meeting new people besides That person isn’t active in your life anymore like before.

Be patient with what you feel and be sure that it will happen one day, maybe not today, not tomorrow but one day.

8. Listen well to your body and divert your negative energy

Sometimes directing your rage toward anything beneficial, find an outlet to divert your negative energy you get after a breakup, some physical workout would be on point Give your body what it wanted, eat whatever you crave, stay in and stay out as much you feel like it absolutely spoil yourself. If you saw a bar of chocolate, you wanted, then It’s yours, get this sushi platter and watch a movie, Fortunately, attempts to be good to your body won’t stop at food. do what your body is commanding, check some activities like Yoga classes, kickboxing, swimming classes, or some cross fit

9. Ignore common friends’ invitations

Don’t show up in a gathering that include common friends or your ex, going to that party still makes it all about your ex not your emotional well-being, and seeing them will just pick open the scab. You better heal in peace and avoid the regular questionnaire of how you both broke up or remembering how it ended.

 10.Reconnect with old friends / colleagues

After the breakup, being able to reconnect spend hours on the phone, catching up with the people I you lost touch with. Nothing feels like home quite like being barefoot on your bestfriend’s couch with a hot cup of fresh grinded coffee or an ice cream bucket and a handy box of tissues.

For the first few weeks after the breakup, you should accept every social invitation that come your way. This would be the best decision you could have possibly make.During the beginning of the breakup, accepting these invitations probably won’t feel genuine. You may feel guilty for going out, or you may go out only to obsessively check your phone for the night,

 that breakups disrupt what psychologists call our “attachment systems.”

 What happens for a lot of people is they switch that attachment back to those people who in an earlier stage of life may have been the primary attachment. Your attachment might snap back to close friends, it might even snap back to your parents, or it might snap back to an ex-lover which is not recommended.

Maissoun Khaled
A marketer , painter and passionate writer

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